Have you ever been so caught up with "work" that you "deviate" from the goal you have in mind? Well, I do ... recently, I get so caught up with housework, preparing meals and worrying about the kids' schoolwork, that I forget my aim for wanting to be a SAHM ....
My mom was a working mom, I had fond memories of time spent with her on her off days. I remembered I would run all the way home from the lift, and happy to see the door opened, and her in the kitchen cooking. I remembered dragging my feet home from school when her leave was over. It was no fun going back to an empty house. I was a "Latchkey Kid". I would warm up my dinner, do my homework, and study for tests/exams. Mom and Dad would be home after my dinner, just before my bedtime. Well, that situation kind of instilled some self discipline in me, but deep inside, I had always wished that she could be home to spend more time with me, even if it meant scolding me for not doing my homework.
I guess by becoming a SAHM, I am fullfilling my childhood wish of wanting mom to stay home. It has been six years since I become a SAHM.
It was an amazing journey so far; a journey filled with joy, frustrations, and tears. Seeing my boys' first smile, first step, hearing his first words ... it was all so fulfilling. Dealing with my boys' tantrums and whining ... it was draining and tiring.
My two boys have a age difference of 1 1/2 years.
When they were younger, they both required my attention constantly. Like when I carried the younger one, then one plus, the older one would want to be carried too. Cooking and cleaning the house were almost near impossible, as most of my time was spend looking after them.
Now that they are older, they are able to find things to occupy themselves.
I realised I am able to do more, in terms of cleaning the house, and cooking. As a result, I sometimes get so caught up with housework, that I forget to spend some quality time with them. I also realised, after reading a friend's blog, that I should adopt a more "unhurried" attitude. I am also reminded of why I want to be SAHM. Thanks, PY, for sending me your blog address.
So for the new year, I will remind myself to ...
- Be more patient with the kids.
- Be more "unhurried" = leading to more patience.
- Be more "detached" of my own emotions when handling their emotions.
- Be more generous when spending time with my boys : to say more OKs to my boys when they invite me to play with them .. the number of times I join them is far less than the number of times I say "not free now".
And to give the boys ...
more hugs, more smiles, more compliments!
.... a time to reflect, a time to pick up from where I stopped ....
6 comments:
love the photo. i really respect what you are doing. it takes a lot of effort and a lot of sacrifice (esp personal time) to be a SAHM. and you have that self-awareness to find and maintain the balance, so keep up the good work :) i am sure your boys will have fond memories of growing up with their mummy around all the time.
-jt-
thanks for the encouraging words, jean ... sometimes i really complain that i have no time to myself! but i guess when the boys are older, i will have all the time to myself (and i may not like it either then) =)
photo taken outside kw's school, on a sunny day in winter =)
very often, i have my doubts ... does it make a difference whether i'm a sahm or full time working mom ... i know for sure i will be spending very little time with them if i chose to work full time, since they will be in the care of their grandparents and maid. they will probably be closer to them than me? i chose to be a SAHM instead. i don't want to look back years down the road, and said ... i should have stayed home instead of working while the boys were younger!
i do hope the kids will hope fond memories of growing up with mom at home =) that's my aim of being a SAHM too =)
hi dear,
you have a tough job.. but definitely worth it i believe.. and you have been a wonderful and loving mom for the kids.. :) they will definitely remember mommy's stabilising and loving presence at home for a long long time.. glad to hear you'll take time to "smell the roses" :) jiayou!
:)
hubby
thank you, dear =)
when they drive me crazy, i wish they will grow up soon .. but come to think of it, when they are older, they wont want our company anymore! so for now, i will try to enjoy their company as much as possible! will need to go back to work, but prob. at a phase where they start to want more time to themselves and their friends' company? will decide along the way ... i believe the path is there all along, just that we need time to see it for ourselves ...
LY, while your attention is on the kids, dun forget that big kid next to you hor :)
-jt-
ha ha ... i wont .. i have three kids at home leh ..
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