Have you ever been so caught up with "work" that you "deviate" from the goal you have in mind? Well, I do ... recently, I get so caught up with housework, preparing meals and worrying about the kids' schoolwork, that I forget my aim for wanting to be a SAHM ....
My mom was a working mom, I had fond memories of time spent with her on her off days. I remembered I would run all the way home from the lift, and happy to see the door opened, and her in the kitchen cooking. I remembered dragging my feet home from school when her leave was over. It was no fun going back to an empty house. I was a "Latchkey Kid". I would warm up my dinner, do my homework, and study for tests/exams. Mom and Dad would be home after my dinner, just before my bedtime. Well, that situation kind of instilled some self discipline in me, but deep inside, I had always wished that she could be home to spend more time with me, even if it meant scolding me for not doing my homework.
I guess by becoming a SAHM, I am fullfilling my childhood wish of wanting mom to stay home. It has been six years since I become a SAHM.
It was an amazing journey so far; a journey filled with joy, frustrations, and tears. Seeing my boys' first smile, first step, hearing his first words ... it was all so fulfilling. Dealing with my boys' tantrums and whining ... it was draining and tiring.
My two boys have a age difference of 1 1/2 years.
When they were younger, they both required my attention constantly. Like when I carried the younger one, then one plus, the older one would want to be carried too. Cooking and cleaning the house were almost near impossible, as most of my time was spend looking after them.
Now that they are older, they are able to find things to occupy themselves.
I realised I am able to do more, in terms of cleaning the house, and cooking. As a result, I sometimes get so caught up with housework, that I forget to spend some quality time with them. I also realised, after reading a friend's blog, that I should adopt a more "unhurried" attitude. I am also reminded of why I want to be SAHM. Thanks, PY, for sending me your blog address.
So for the new year, I will remind myself to ...
- Be more patient with the kids.
- Be more "unhurried" = leading to more patience.
- Be more "detached" of my own emotions when handling their emotions.
- Be more generous when spending time with my boys : to say more OKs to my boys when they invite me to play with them .. the number of times I join them is far less than the number of times I say "not free now".
And to give the boys ...
more hugs, more smiles, more compliments!
.... a time to reflect, a time to pick up from where I stopped ....